"Tired of reading lame spoofs of pulp novels and other examples of self-indulgent navel-gazing? Then help a hard-luck ink-slinger get his groove back."
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Chris Kelly has hard time coming up with this week's column
"Tired of reading lame spoofs of pulp novels and other examples of self-indulgent navel-gazing? Then help a hard-luck ink-slinger get his groove back."
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19 comments:
There's a handful of people here who like to land all over Kelly every chance they get so those posts are inevitable and only moments away I'm sure.
How about next one who wants to do that here, let's try this. Start your comment with "Kelly is a no-talent hack", then post the column you would have written in the place of his today.
Kelly is not a no-talent hack.
He's a talented, lazy hack who's bored and jaded and would rather be the King of Comedy than a hard-working metro columnist (which is one of the great jobs in the world.) Nobody at the Times Tribune has the clout, the cojones or the brains to push him to be better or work harder.
He spent most of the past week writing that column. Pay me a pro-rated share of that salary and I'll post a better one.
Otherwise, it's asinine to compare Internet posters' material to someone like him who's landed a golden Times Shamrock plum. I work for a living.
My 15 year old daugher has a poem to write for literature class. The only condition is that it can't be more than twenty lines. She said, "Dad, what should I write a poem about?" I told her that Chris Kelly wrote his column today about not having anything for his column.
Here's her poem.
Poem
I never claimed to be a poet.
I usually can’t rhyme.
I’m just doing this for the assignment,
So I can hand it in on time.
I was under the impression
That one could not be told
To construct a decent poem.
In fact, it’s getting rather old.
If I were feeling inspired
By a butterfly or bee,
By my grandma or a sunny day,
Or a weeping willow tree-
I’d sit and spill my words out
And let it all flow free…
But I’m not.
A pretty typical Kelly effort in most respects: funny and well-written if you care about the subject and get the references (It helps to know that Chad is a red-haired, bearded dweeby guy); not of any general interest if you don't.
Also, the 872nd consecutive Kelly column written without leaving the building.
But it's time to recognize that Kelly is what he is. He's not a Breslin or a Royko and never pretended to be. He's more of a Dave Barry type. I don't think he ever left the building, either.
Writing about nothing to write about is amateurish, period. And it's not up to others to find something for Kelly to write about. That's his job, and he needs to do it better than this.
Kelly's an editor, too? Who knew?
How can he tell a reporter to get off their butts and get out of the office to find some stories, after he's written something like that?
is laughingstock one word or two?
OK, give the guy a break! None of you never had writer's block? Were too tired or burned out to be "creative"? At least he's honest and open about having a dry well this week. Chris, don't forget that Seinfeld was extremely popular by being about "nothing". Some ideas: what would be the ultimate meal? Your favorite movie, and why? What other occupation you'd have if you weren't a journalist? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Your most embarrassing moment. Your happiest day. The best Christmas present you got from Santa. Get the picture? Sometimes the small stuff IS the most interesting! Good luck, and don't sweat the dry spell. This too shall pass!
Tell us some of those hilarious, slice of life anecdotes that happen when you're standing out in front of the T-T smoking, as you do for about seven hours a day
chris hasn't had a smoke in 3 weeks, so try again!
Chris hasn't smoked in 3 weeks and Ed has been behaving sort of like a reasonable adult for 3 weeks. Could there be some sort of cosmic connection? If Chris starts smoking, does Ed have another meltdown?
Quick, everyone send nicotine patches to Kelly ASAP.
"There's a handful of people here who like to land all over Kelly every chance they get so those posts are inevitable and only moments away I'm sure."
Not that we're defensive or anything.
"Not that we're defensive or anything."
That was a great line in that other comment section, are you going to use it here three or four times too? 'Cuz it's funny. Wow, keep 'em comin'!
Yeah, stop recycling the same siht over and over again. Who do you think you are, Kelly?
I love all these Times Tribune types who get all whiny and weepy about being beaten up by the big bad bloggers and then get even defensive about getting defensive.
Fact is, the Scranton Times Tribune is probably the worst-edited and least professional paper of its size in America, and running an embarrassing piece like that from your star metro columnist is yet another sign of that.
Things like the Hasidic Jew package getting into print seemingly unedited and a humongous Sunday package on stand up comedy that doesn't contain any stand-up comedy. You can't make stuff like that up. They don't happen at papers that size, or even at good papers that are much smaller.
Sorry. Those are the facts.
F.U.
who's whiny and weepy? of the comments so far, only one seems to be 'pro' Kelly. You're right...all these whiny and weepy folks are so scaaaared of the big bad blogger and all the bad comments.... :-(
Hey, guys, I'm dry again. What should I write about this week?
Will the real Chris Kelly please stand up? LOL
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